Elephant Small Vol 5 Read online

  nothing much changes round here

  and to qualify that score

  after having been away

  for a dozen years or more

  everything looks exactly

  the same as in days of yore

  while appearing completely

  different compared to before

  so welcome home to blighty

  I missed the old place for sure

  cold wet windy day and night

  anyone care anymore?

  triple dip deep recession

  here in the land of the poor

  normal service won't resume

  are we rotten to the core?

  relationship's uncertain

  but all's fair in love and war

  there's just two things I ask for

  one thing I'd like to ignore

  same note different handwriting

  hanging on the kitchen door

  'your dinner's in the toaster

  dirty washing's on the floor' !

  44. Parental Guidance

  Here we go again...!

  But what's all the fuss about?

  I'll tell you, straight up...

  You wish I'd lay off...

  You're miserable as sin...

  Show some in-te-rest!

  Just to prove my point

  I'll give you some sound advice

  Got to keep things sweet!

  It's not 'shit or bust'!

  (to use a figure of speech)

  ...Have you had enough...?

  45. What’s My Name...?

  An open invitation

  but have you got the bottle

  to take on a nom de plume...?

  You must be right on the ball

  to make it last the long term

  and stick in a court of law.

  Call yourself Fred... with a 'Th'

  'Thread' will do their heads right in...

  No-one will even... coral...!?

  (You know I can't say 'quarrel')

  Bathe yourself in the glory

  of a unique incident...

  As rare as rocking horse shit

  Celebrate with a glass of dry white...

  46. Perfect Senses

  Boost Sound and Vision with minimum surgery

  Make the decision with maximum urgency

  Balanced perceptions are worth the expense

  Makes perfect sense...

  Upgrade your eyesight to Hi Definition

  Download the vibe, don't disguise the transmission

  Enhance your reception with Special Effects

  Better than sex...

  Sound all around via DTS implant

  3D surround sound accessed in an instant

  Forget the distraction of background distortion

  It's all in proportion...

  Digital features for creatures of habit

  On-Demand access, just reach out and grab it

  Must-have improvements, the best without doubt

  Go check it out...

  Check it out

  Check it out

  47. OCD

  Root of the problem, it seems...

  lack of life experience

  Hiding behind the locked door

  of your mind that made no sense...

  Imaginary faces

  And visions of naked flesh

  Candlelight inadequate

  to shed illumination

  Images of giving birth

  held your imagination

  Now reason scurries, escapes

  is swept under the carpet...

  48 The Clock Struck Five

  Town Hall

  The clock struck five

  When it was quarter to

  That was just one of its faces

  Of four

  49. Where There’s Life, There’s Hope

  Hopes seemed dashed at breakfast time

  What to do? Four souls to feed

  Fridge is empty, shelves are bare

  No frozen, processed, powdered

  Conveniently pre-packed

  Early signs suggest a need

  For vital kitchen upgrade

  Improvement for little room

  A fresh approach is required

  Open window raises hopes

  Outdoor edible menu

  Organic, free-range produce

  Vegetables, spices, herbs

  Bounty hunter's net result

  But what’s on today’s menu?

  Fresh fruit salad for starters

  Main course cock-a-doodle doo

  Sticky staple; just dessert

  Bill of fare, no price to pay

  Bob’s your uncle; problem solved

  50. Ell Er Fence Maul Says-Sir-Ten Fingza Bow Tevo Loo Shun F Rit N Wurdz… Innit…?

  a luv thee inglish lingo

  4 itz fleks er bil er tea

  itz sew er comma d8 in

  it wel cumz der u’s f slang

  locul axe sense tht er bownd

  (sum tht chainj frm st ter st

  er breathe-e asians innit

  cor bly me no wot a meen)

  n miss pre-nun sea asians

  tht sum uvver langwidj s

  i no wil knot tol er 8

  bcuz a nun sea asians

  inflek shuns n m-fa sieze

  eve n pitch, n toan f voys

  r all crew shall elefants

  afek tin com pre-hen shun

  dye loot in ur wurdz meen in

  put in u owt f con tekst

  oar wurdz meen nuffin a tall

  no skoap 4 2nd gess in

  n thts y a luv ingl-ish

  er die manic tong 4 shore

  (nammic – soz ms. mal er prop )

  it d-vel erps con stan lee

  (not tht spy d-man bloak

  a meen con tin u.s lee

  me appollo jeez a gen)

  wurdz go in n owt f stile

  forrinners r under stud

  eve n wither porker mand

  und zee vic ist f ex-scentz

  wee no r langwidj sew wel

  but 1 fing as me puzld

  (er numbr f fings m shore)

  r diss play f igner urns

  wiv the u’s f sir-ten wurdz

  2 wurdz in per tik a ler

  red illy sprng ter mined

  the wurdz ‘UNIQUE’; ‘ORIGINAL’

  r band-e’d wil-e-nil-e

  ab sir loot lee no re-guard

  4 there akchewal me nins

  it seams in d corrs f thyme

  (oar is it jst r e-goze?)

  thee av b cum ker up tid

  eve n met a more fr sized

  now thee meen thee opper sit

  (oar in tht viz innit-e)

  f there in 10 did meen ins

  fun-e s in serie s

  tht 2 sch cloas reller tivs

  (n bofe f em vee eye peas)

  av tranz 4md frm ab so loots

  2 b mesh er din d greez

  Just in case you were wondering...

  ELEPHANT SMALL SAYS CERTAIN THINGS ABOUT EVOLUTION OF WRITTEN WORDS

  AGREED…?

  I love the English language for its flexibility. It’s so accommodating; it welcomes the use of slang, local accents that abound (some that change from st(reet) to st(reet).Abbreviations isn’t it? ‘Cor blimey, know what I mean?’), and mispronunciations that some other languages I know will not tolerate, because annunciations, inflections and emphases, even pitch, and tone of voice, are all crucial elements, affecting comprehension - diluting your words’ meaning, putting you out of context, or words mean nothing at all. No scope for second guessing, and that’s why I love English; a dymanic tongue for sure (namic – sorry Mrs. Malaprop). It develops constan(t)ly (not that Spiderman bloke, I mean continuously; my apologies again). Words go in and out of style; foreigners are understood, even with a poor command, and the thickest of accents. We know our language so well, but one thing has me puzzled, (a number of things I’m sure); our display of ignoran
ce, with the use of certain words. Two words in particular, readily spring to mind. The words ‘UNIQUE’; ‘ORIGINAL’, are bandied willy-nilly; absolutely no regard for their actual meanings. It seems, in the course of time (or is it just our ego’s), they have become corrupted, even metamorphosised. Now they mean the opposite (or in that vicinity) of their intended meanings.

  Funny, as in serious, that two such close relatives (and both of them VIP’s), have transformed, from absolutes, to be measured in degrees.

  ###

  About The Author

  Stanski is the kind of guy who doesn’t do things by half measures.

  For example, he’s the guy who went to Thailand in 1999, to see in the New Millennium.

  He enjoyed it there so much that he decided to stay on for a while.

  He didn’t return to the UK until October…

  October 2010…!

  Stanski began writing in earnest in 2005 while recovering from a motorcycle accident, in the northern city of Chiangmai, in which he sustained serious head injuries.

  Find Stanski on Facebook

  https://www.facebook.com/stan.ski.9

  Examples of verse by Stanski can be found on his Blog, ‘Elephant Small’

  Crawling Distance

  In Decline

  The Night Jasmine

  The Fourth Millennium

  Hotel 27

  A Fetish For Frustration

  Elephant Small Vol 1

  Elephant Small Vol 2

  Elephant Small Vol 3

  Elephant Small Vol 4